Tuesday, March 31, 2009

i'm not sure anymore

I'm having a day where everything makes me want to turn into a blubbering idiot.

I actually think I've reached my breaking point. They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle but what happens when we've handled all we can... then what??

I'm struggling with an overabundance of emotions..... guilt, resentment, happiness, anger, anticipation, disappointment, optimism, pessimism, affection, pride, relief, sadness... I could go on and on but you get the jist here.

I don't know if my physical self can handle my emotional self anymore.

I've prayed and prayed, for myself and for others. I've tried to tell myself tomorrow is a new day. Unfortunately for the last week, nothing has worked or I should say I FEEL as if nothing is working.

Today I cry at the drop of an eyelash... the mere thought of someone asking me a question... I should've stayed in bed.


Beverly said...

Try and find something that is up lifting. Change the music you are listening to, put a picture on your desktop that makes you smile when you see it, but a little special (small) item in a place you may look through at times so that when you see it you will have a brief memory of a happier time. I have done all of these and even when life seems to get me down I know at some point throughout the day, week, month, etc. I will at least have a smile or two that will cross my face.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Maybe you need a day in bed to just do nothing. Sounds like you need a little bit of ME time. Demand that for a few hours, Hun! You'll find your happy place there. At least, I always do!

beck2listen said...

Definitely find some ME time!!! You need, and deserve it! And there is no guilt in that. You must do it for your sanity and the sake of those loved ones around you.

That's an order!! ;-)

JC said...

Hope things get easier! I know life is unbelievably crazy at times. But, I always try to find something good to focus on. I could focus on bad stuff all day, but then I'd just be miserable. I find a reason to smile and just try to keep doing it over and over. Saying a prayer for you!


Missy said...

I am so sorry. My advice would be to go and find some guilty pleasure like chocolate or something and hide for a while. Listen to "Tough All Over" and have your self a good cry.

Saying a little prayer for your sanity!!!