***UPDATE**** So I get up this morning and on the news is the story of a commuter plane that crashed into a home in Buffalo, NY killing everyone inside and one person in the house. A woman and young child made it safely from the home. From what I understand they are not able to get close enough to put the fire out. My heart goes out to the families suffering through this... but on the flip side, is this not validation for me fear?
As I'm driving home yesterday I notice an airplane in the sky flying pretty low. This is normal occurence since I live near Barksdale AFB and planes in the sky are no biggy... it's not like I haven't seen it a hundred times before.
But as I got closer and closer I realized something harsh.... I will never ever go anywhere that requires me to fly... I have an insane fear of airplanes. The closer I got the more I started to panic until I was in a full blown anxiety attack. I just kept thinking that what if this plane crashes? What am I going to do?? I can't handle stress like that?? What happens if I choose to fly and my plane crashes???
Okay and if that's not weird enough, my fear of helicopters is even worse!!! I freak if I even hear the noise of a helicopter. I can't stand to look at them which is why I'm not even posting a picture of one.
I know, this is beyond therapy and of course is contributed to some deep rooted issue. But dang, I can't even drive home and look in the sky without having a panic attack. And of course, my dreams of traveling exotic places is gone down the drain since not all the valium and xanax in the world can get me on a plane!